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Name: Horse chestnuts.

Age: Brought into the UK over four centuries back.

Appearance: The outdoor world's Labubu.

No, I don’t think that’s right. Absolutely. Check out a TikTok video of someone revealing a conker, and you’ll almost certainly hear them call it “the earth's Labubu”.

Opening up horse chestnuts? What on Earth are you talking about? Goodness, you are definitely not up to date, aren’t you? Young people are taking to TikTok to record videos removing conkers from their prickly shells.

But why? Due to the sense of wonder! When you unbox a conker, you can't predict what you’re going to get. Will it be big? Will it be flat? What will its shine level be? It is similar to a surprise package every time!

Are Labubus big and flat and shiny? No, they’re vaguely hellish-looking dolls that have become collectible because they are sold in mystery boxes.

Can someone please tell gen Z that they’re doing conkers wrong? Is that so? How do you play with horse chestnuts, then?

You put a shoelace through the middle of them, and try to break others' nuts. Is that true? That’s unusual.

Yes. You’ll have a much better chance of winning if you leave it in vinegar and then bake it like a pie. Seriously?

Truly. And should you gather an excess, you can hurl them across the playground and all the other kids will fight each other for them. A beautiful, natural thing like a conker, and you use it as a tool for battle? A weapon that comes with a long set of complex and confusing guidelines?

That's the custom! King Charles literally just presented the global conker competition with a gift of 300 conkers! At least young people are just recording videos.

Why don’t you know this? At a guess, because certain schools prohibited the game twenty years back, due to concerns over well-being.

Today's society always surprises. Maybe unboxing conkers just doesn't appeal to you. In which case, perhaps you would be more interested in some other hot new gen Z trends.

Oh really? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called knitting, and something else called pottery that I can explain to you.

We’ve had knitting and pottery for centuries! Let me guess, you heat tools in apple drink and then use them to jab one another?

No! OK, calm down. I assumed that all older generation's pastimes involved violence in some form, after that conker thing.

This is overwhelming. Relax for a moment. If you need me, I’ll be opening plant seeds online.

Do say: “TikTok can’t stop filming conker reveals.”

What to avoid: “This is nuts.”